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“Without the proper pussy willows, who knows. Marriages might not happen. Relationships could fall apart,”—Eddy Dobosiewicz, Dyngus Day Buffalo co-founder

Those of you who are wondering what the hell Dyngus Day is and why pussy willows are involved should not feel ill-informed. Celebrated the Monday following Easter Sunday, Dyngus Day (sometimes spelled Dingus) is only observed in a few cities throughout the U.S. It is a Polish tradition, sort of a bizarre amalgamation of Mardi Gras, Sadie Hawkins, and St. Patrick’s Day. The end of Lent and the beginning of the courting season are celebrated with splashings of water—which have evolved to squirting with plastic water pistols—and gentle lashings with pussy willow branches. (Singles are supposed to use the squirt guns and willow branches on anyone they happen to fancy.) There’s also lots of polka. And beer. And vodka. I’m proud to say that Buffalo has the largest Dyngus Day celebration in the U.S.

However. The ridiculous temps of the last few weeks were hotter than what we normally see in May and June and the salix discolor shrubs have reacted accordingly, starting to burst out of bud well before time. In Western New York, the little furry gray catkins have been showing signs of turning into their less desirable flowers weeks before they’re supposed to, according to this article.

Actually I think we’ll be fine—the temps just took a sharp turn downward, which might help—but the Dyngus organizers have been deluged with suggestions and even some entrepreneurship on the part of pussy willow shrub owners who are auctioning off their branches to the highest bidder.

See? There are all kinds of hidden consequences to this End of Days weather dysfunction we’ve been seeing. Dyngus Day is April 9 this year. I’ll be a judge at the parade and I’ll be watching for any pussy willow shortage. Fortunately, it won’t affect me personally.

Posted by

Elizabeth Licata
on March 26, 2012 at 4:57 am, in the category Ministry of Controversy.